Lately I've been reflecting on my favourite things about life in Israel. Near the top of my list is Shabbat dinner.
I grew up in a pretty areligious home. We celebrated Christmas and Easter, but outside of weddings and funerals I can count on one hand the number of times I've been to church with my parents. Although we didn't go to church and I never went to Sunday school, we did always have family Sunday night dinners. My maternal grandparents joined us occasionally; my paternal grandparents came to dinner (based around a roast of beef) nearly ever Sunday night in the winter when they were in residence (i.e. not on vacay). In the summer we were more likely to go to them at the cottage.
As an adult, I've been known to head to mom and dad's for a well-balanced (and well cooked! my parents are great cooks) sustaining meal on Sunday nights. But, this is Sunday night; the night before the work week starts again. In Israel, the family meal is Friday night after sundown whether you are secular or religious. The work week starts on Sunday, so Friday night is the middle night of your weekend (Saturday night for Westerners). After dinner, if you are secular or traditional, you might head out on the town with your friends, meeting them at the bar by 11pm or so. If you are conservative or more religious, you probably hit the couch and chat or read before heading to bed. You don't do dishes until Saturday after three stars are seen.
I am hard pressed to think of anyone in my acquaintance in North America who would consider going home for dinner in the middle of the weekend. Partly, this is because many of us live miles away from our parents. Thus, going home for dinner is often part of a weekend trip that is made a few times a year. In Israel (a notably smaller country!) everyone goes home for Shabbat dinner as often as possible. It's a standing date on the schedule and you work your social life around it. An obvious reason for this is proximity, but I'm not sure that's the only reason.
Anyway, why do I like shabbat dinner? Two reasons. First, because whether it's secular or religious (I've been to secular, traditional, conservative, and modern orthodox dinners), Shabbat dinner is characterized by some degree of ceremony. The ceremony may be seen in the type of food and courses served (often: salads, soup, fish, meat and vegetables, and then parve (kosher non dairy) dessert (not my favourite!)). Or it may be in the practice of kiddush over wine, and the blessing over the challah. There is always more food than the table could possibly finish (it will be eaten on Shabbat (all day Saturday) when Jews are not meant to cook). Shabbat doesn't just mark the end of the week, it reinforces a cultural (or cultural-religious) identity.
Second, I like the openness of discussion around the table. Not every table does this, but the best Shabbat dinners include a lively discussion on politics or ethics or football. Everyone has an opinion and shares it; disagreement is permitted and voices are usually raised! I'm not sure there are never hard feelings, but there does seem to be an ability to agree to disagree. Sitting at the Shabbat table I have learned much about Jewishness and Israeli society.
I grew up in a pretty areligious home. We celebrated Christmas and Easter, but outside of weddings and funerals I can count on one hand the number of times I've been to church with my parents. Although we didn't go to church and I never went to Sunday school, we did always have family Sunday night dinners. My maternal grandparents joined us occasionally; my paternal grandparents came to dinner (based around a roast of beef) nearly ever Sunday night in the winter when they were in residence (i.e. not on vacay). In the summer we were more likely to go to them at the cottage.
As an adult, I've been known to head to mom and dad's for a well-balanced (and well cooked! my parents are great cooks) sustaining meal on Sunday nights. But, this is Sunday night; the night before the work week starts again. In Israel, the family meal is Friday night after sundown whether you are secular or religious. The work week starts on Sunday, so Friday night is the middle night of your weekend (Saturday night for Westerners). After dinner, if you are secular or traditional, you might head out on the town with your friends, meeting them at the bar by 11pm or so. If you are conservative or more religious, you probably hit the couch and chat or read before heading to bed. You don't do dishes until Saturday after three stars are seen.
I am hard pressed to think of anyone in my acquaintance in North America who would consider going home for dinner in the middle of the weekend. Partly, this is because many of us live miles away from our parents. Thus, going home for dinner is often part of a weekend trip that is made a few times a year. In Israel (a notably smaller country!) everyone goes home for Shabbat dinner as often as possible. It's a standing date on the schedule and you work your social life around it. An obvious reason for this is proximity, but I'm not sure that's the only reason.
Anyway, why do I like shabbat dinner? Two reasons. First, because whether it's secular or religious (I've been to secular, traditional, conservative, and modern orthodox dinners), Shabbat dinner is characterized by some degree of ceremony. The ceremony may be seen in the type of food and courses served (often: salads, soup, fish, meat and vegetables, and then parve (kosher non dairy) dessert (not my favourite!)). Or it may be in the practice of kiddush over wine, and the blessing over the challah. There is always more food than the table could possibly finish (it will be eaten on Shabbat (all day Saturday) when Jews are not meant to cook). Shabbat doesn't just mark the end of the week, it reinforces a cultural (or cultural-religious) identity.
Second, I like the openness of discussion around the table. Not every table does this, but the best Shabbat dinners include a lively discussion on politics or ethics or football. Everyone has an opinion and shares it; disagreement is permitted and voices are usually raised! I'm not sure there are never hard feelings, but there does seem to be an ability to agree to disagree. Sitting at the Shabbat table I have learned much about Jewishness and Israeli society.
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